It wasn’t a scandal. It wasn’t betrayal. It was a misunderstanding — the kind that festered for 20 months, shattered a two-decade friendship, and played out across podcasts, Instagram reels, and tabloid headlines. Jamie Laing, 35, and Spencer Matthews, 36, the longtime friends and co-stars of E4’s Made in Chelsea, finally laid bare the reasons behind their estrangement in a series of raw, emotional podcast episodes in late 2024. Their reconciliation didn’t come with a dramatic public hug or a red carpet appearance. It came through quiet, honest conversations — the kind most friendships need but rarely get.
The Stag Do That Started It All
The fracture began in early 2023, when Matthews, who has been sober since 2018, declined Laing’s invitation to his bachelor party in London. To Matthews, it was a simple matter of personal boundaries. "I didn’t want to go," he said on his podcast Untapped. "I’m not going to drink. I’m not going to be in that environment. It’s not a big deal." But Laing, founder of the London-based health food company Candy Kittens, took it differently. "I had my stag do," he recalled, voice tight with old hurt, "and you didn’t want to come. And for me, that felt like… an insult. Like you didn’t care enough to be there." The truth? Matthews didn’t feel slighted by the invitation. He felt it was assumed he wouldn’t attend. Laing didn’t know that. And that silence — that unspoken assumption — became the first crack.The Wedding That Wasn’t Invited
Then came the wedding. On March 18, 2023, Laing married Sophie Habboo in a lavish London ceremony. Matthews didn’t show. Not because he was busy. Not because he was angry. But because he never received an invitation. "I was pretty hurt by that," Matthews admitted. "I tried to brush it under the table. I’m sure it wasn’t malicious from you — at least I’d like to think it wasn’t." Laing, stunned, had no idea. "I thought you were coming," he said. "I didn’t even think about whether you were invited or not. I just assumed you were on the list." The disconnect was staggering. Two men who had shared bedrooms, nights out, and TV fame since 2004 — when they first met through London’s social scene — suddenly couldn’t communicate a basic thing: whether someone was on the guest list. The wedding absence wasn’t a snub. It was a ghost in the machine of their friendship.
The Marathon That Broke the Silence
The rift deepened in March 2024, when Laing ran 150 miles across England over five days for Comic ReliefManchester, raising exactly £2,053,835. The finish line was televised. Friends, fans, and even strangers showed up. But Matthews didn’t. "I wasn’t invited," he said bluntly on Untapped. Laing’s response? "Things were organised by the BBC. When Ollie Proudlock turned up, I had no idea he was turning up — that was a complete surprise." Oliver Proudlock, another Made in Chelsea alum and founder of Oliver Proudlock London, arrived unannounced — proof that people were there. But Matthews wasn’t. "At the finish line, loads of people did turn up," Laing said. "But I also totally get you and I weren’t as friendly at the time. So… why would you turn up? We weren’t talking so much." That phrase — "we weren’t talking so much" — became the key. Not malice. Not jealousy. Just… silence.The Reconciliation: Two Serious Conversations
It took 20 months. It took two podcasts. It took vulnerability. On September 24, 2025, Matthews revealed on Untapped that they’d had "for the first time today in our lives, in the 20 years that we’ve known each other, had two very serious conversations." Laing, who disclosed his secret struggle with crippling anxiety and panic attacks during the talks, admitted he’d misread Matthews’ sobriety as rejection. Matthews, in turn, said he’d assumed Laing knew he wouldn’t attend events without alcohol — and didn’t want to force himself into spaces he didn’t feel comfortable in. The reconciliation wasn’t about who was right. It was about who was listening. "We were both waiting for the other to make the first move," Matthews said. "And we both thought the other didn’t care enough to try." The episode titled "The Truth About Jamie & Spencer’s Fallout (And Their Friendship...)" — released in November 2025 on Apple Podcasts (ID: 1788474884) — became a cultural moment. Fans flooded social media with messages: "This is my friendship."
Why This Matters Beyond Reality TV
This isn’t just a celebrity spat. It’s a mirror. In an age of curated Instagram lives and performative friendships, Laing and Matthews exposed how easily silence becomes distance. How assumptions replace communication. How a simple "I didn’t think you’d want to come" can spiral into years of hurt. Their story resonates because it’s ordinary. No affairs. No money. No betrayal. Just two people who loved each other — and forgot how to talk. Now, they’re rebuilding. Laing, still running Candy Kittens. Matthews, still building S.Pellegrino Zero. And both, finally, talking again.Frequently Asked Questions
What caused the rift between Jamie Laing and Spencer Matthews?
The rift began when Spencer Matthews declined Jamie Laing’s 2023 stag do due to his 2018 sobriety commitment, which Laing interpreted as a personal insult. The situation worsened when Matthews wasn’t invited to Laing’s March 2023 wedding and later didn’t attend the March 2024 Comic Relief marathon finish line in Manchester — not out of malice, but because he wasn’t asked. Both cited miscommunication and silence as the root causes.
Did Spencer Matthews intentionally snub Jamie Laing’s wedding?
No. Matthews stated he never received an invitation to Laing’s March 18, 2023 wedding in London. Laing assumed he was on the guest list and was shocked when he didn’t show. The absence was a result of poor communication, not intentional disrespect — a theme that repeated during the Comic Relief marathon in March 2024.
How did they reconcile after 20 months of silence?
They reconciled through two candid podcast conversations in late 2024 — Laing on Matthews’ Untapped and Matthews on Laing’s Great Company. Both admitted they’d been waiting for the other to reach out. Laing shared his anxiety struggles; Matthews spoke about his sobriety boundaries. The breakthrough came when they stopped assigning blame and started listening.
Why did Spencer Matthews miss the Comic Relief marathon finish line?
Matthews didn’t attend the March 15, 2024 finish line in Manchester because he wasn’t invited. Though others, like Oliver Proudlock, showed up unexpectedly, Laing’s team had left guest coordination to the BBC. Matthews felt excluded not because of hostility, but because their friendship had become so distant that no one thought to check if he wanted to be there.
What role did social media play in the misunderstanding?
Social media amplified speculation, with headlines framing the absences as intentional snubs. But both men clarified the real issue was the lack of direct communication. Laing noted in interviews that media reports missed the key detail: they simply weren’t talking to each other during that period. The silence, not the social media noise, was the real problem.
Are Jamie Laing and Spencer Matthews friends again?
Yes. Both confirmed in their December 2024 podcast appearances that their friendship is officially repaired. They’ve since posted joint Instagram reels, referenced each other in interviews, and said they’re prioritizing open communication. "We’re back," Matthews said. "And this time, we’re not letting silence win."
